Questions to ask your dog (or cat) if they could talk
Everyone has a list. Usually it starts with "why" and ends with something you found chewed. If your pet could talk for five minutes, these are the questions most of us would ask first, along with the answers they'd probably give and the plain, well-known reasons behind them.
Questions to ask your dog
Why do you bark at nothing?
Their answer: "It wasn't nothing. It was a leaf with a bad attitude."
Dogs hear and smell far more than we do, so "nothing" is often something we simply can't detect.
What are you dreaming about when your legs twitch?
Their answer: "Running. Winning. A squirrel who finally slowed down."
Twitching, paddling and little muffled woofs during sleep are generally a normal part of dog dreaming.
Why do you roll in the smelliest thing in the park?
Their answer: "I found a perfume. I'm sharing it with the family."
Nobody is completely sure. Common ideas include an old instinct to cover their own scent, or simply that dogs and people disagree about what smells good.
Why do you greet me like I've been gone for years?
Their answer: "Were you gone five minutes or five years? Hard to say. Either way, you came back."
Many dogs are deeply attached to their people, and a big hello is usually just that feeling with nowhere else to go.
Questions to ask your cat
Why do you bring me "gifts"?
Their answer: "You clearly can't hunt. Someone has to look after you."
Bringing prey home is linked to a cat's hunting instinct. Exactly why they present it to you is still a bit of a mystery, which is very on brand.
Why do you sit on the one piece of paper I need?
Their answer: "It was the important paper. I am the important cat. It made sense."
Cats tend to settle wherever your attention is, and paper on a desk is often warm and right in the middle of things.
Why do you stare at the wall?
Their answer: "There was a bug. Or there will be. I'm keeping the file open."
A cat's hearing is much sharper than ours, so they may be tracking a sound you can't hear.
Why do you yell at the door and then not go through it?
Their answer: "I wanted the option. I didn't say I wanted the outside."
Cats often like to check on what's beyond a closed door, and many seem to prefer having the choice over actually using it.
Questions for any pet
These are the ones people really want answered:
- Who is your favourite person? (Brace yourself. It might be whoever holds the treat bag.)
- What's the best part of your day?
- What do you do all day when I'm out?
- Why is your favourite spot exactly where I want to sit?
- Do you know how much I love you?
Here is how one pet handled the "while I'm out" question, from a sample reading for Clementine, a rabbit who thumps her foot when dinner is late:
"I nap, I rearrange my hay, I plan the evening's thumping. But I listen for your keys all day, and when I hear them, I pretend I wasn't."
The question to leave for the vet
"Does anything hurt?" is the one we'd all most like to ask. Even if your pet could talk, that question belongs to someone with a stethoscope. If your pet seems sore, stops eating, or suddenly acts very differently, check with a vet.
In a What they'd tell you reading, health questions get a warm answer and a nudge toward the vet. From a sample reading for Waffles, a beagle whose person asked about a stiff back leg:
"That one is a question for the vet, not for me. I'll be very brave about it if there is a treat on the way in."
Ask your own pet
The answers above are what most pets would say. Yours has their own: the particular crimes, the routines you share, the look they give you when dinner is four minutes late. That's what What they'd tell you is for.
At mylittleshadow.com/tell you tell a friendly host about your pet: their name, three words that sum them up, the habit that makes them them, a routine you share, and up to three questions you've always wanted to ask. Then your pet gets the microphone. You get a funny, loving message in their own voice, their answers to your questions, and a card made for sharing. It's a playful, AI-written voice built from what you tell us.
The chat is free. The reading is $9.99 USD. Not right for you? Email [email protected] within 30 days and tell us what missed. We'll reply within 24 hours and offer to make a new reading, or refund you in full if you'd rather.
Questions people ask
What should I ask my dog if they could talk?
Start with the habit that puzzles you most, like the sock theft or the barking at nothing, then add one sweet question, like their favourite part of the day. The mix of funny and heartfelt usually gets the best answers.
Does What they'd tell you work for cats and other pets?
Yes. The host asks what kind of animal your pet is, so dogs, cats, rabbits and other pets all get a reading in their own voice, built from what you share about them.
Will my pet answer health questions in a reading?
No. If you ask about health, your pet answers kindly and in character that this one is for the vet. The reading is for fun and celebration, never veterinary advice.